Being the Wife of an Incarcerated Man in the United States: My Testimony

By Halima Kilgore

My name is Halima Kilgore, and I am the wife of Ivan Kilgore, founder of the United Black Family Scholarship Foundation (UBFSF). Through this testimony, I want to share my journey as the wife of an incarcerated man in the United States, shed light on a reality that affects many families, and highlight our common fight against injustice and the importance of our roots.

I live in France, where I grew up with a dual culture—born to a French Catholic mother and an Algerian Muslim father. I also have dual nationality, which I consider an immense privilege. Sadly, many African-Americans’ family history was broken by slavery and oppression. I feel fortunate to know where I come from. I know my ancestors, I can walk on their land, visit Algeria as often as I want, and reconnect with my heritage.

My husband and I understand this reality deeply. He is an African-American man descended from a people torn from their history, and I am the daughter of an Algerian father, carrying within me the memories of a North Africa shaped by its own colonial past. We share this quest for truth, this need to know and pass on our respective heritages—to understand where we come from in order to better know where we are going.

When you love someone who is deprived of their freedom, life takes on a whole new dimension. The distance, the administrative barriers, and the weight of the American prison system make every day a struggle—not only to maintain the connection but also to carry the voices of those the system wants to silence.

Alongside Ivan, I have come to understand the extent of the injustices within the American justice system and the devastating impact of incarceration. But beyond these trials, what unites Ivan and me is much more than a marital bond. We share the same conviction: to fight against injustice, to defend the causes we believe in, and to refuse oppression in all its forms.

I do more than stand by his side—I actively contribute to the fight. I volunteer for the UBFSF as the Executive Administrative Assistant, a role that allows me to directly support his work. I help him stay connected with our university partners, volunteers, and community partners. But my job is not simply about sending emails or managing documents. It’s about brainstorming with our team on projects, infrastructure development, and personnel management. As any married couple knows, working alongside a spouse is both challenging and rewarding. I see both his shortcomings and his brilliance as he manages life in a cage while working to effect change in communities he may never see. I witness his struggles. But most of all, we are learning how to balance our activism with our personal lives.

  Eiffel Tower in Pairs, France   Algeria Sidi Lakhdar Commune in Algeria

I have deep admiration for Ivan’s work through his organization. His commitment, resilience, and determination to amplify the voices of the forgotten command my respect. He is not just my husband—he is a man of principles, an activist, and a fighter for justice. That is why I stand by his side, convinced that together, we can contribute to a more just world.

Love and the fight for human dignity are the pillars of our relationship. This fight is not only his—it is also mine. More importantly, it is the fight of thousands of families broken by a system that punishes instead of rehabilitates.

Photos of Mrs. Kilgore's trip to the Black Panther Museum in Oakland, California.

My journey is that of a woman who refuses to remain silent in the face of injustice—one who deeply believes in the human capacity to rise up and change the course of history.

Halima Kilgore